In April 1963, just 2 weeks after my 10th birthday I was molested, in the village bus shelter, by a 16 year old boy who then proceeded to sexually abuse me for the next 3 years. During that time I was forced to perform and endure every conceivable sexual act many of which were deeply distressing. My response to this was bed wetting until I was 12, depression and behavioural abnormalities including unprecedented anger problems. No attention was paid to these issues because my school work remained of an exceptionally high standard.
In 1965 my Mother remarried and for a very short time my life seemed to have improved. After 8 years without one I had a Dad, the family was complete again. Dad’s approach to boys and discipline however was very similar to that of my biological father. Depending on the severity of the offence punishment would range from a smack to the belt; the only consistency being that it was delivered to a bare backside often with my sisters as witnesses. Combined with continuing sexual abuse and the misery I was living through at school this additional suffering pushed me further into depression and increased my anger problems.
I discovered the power of sarcasm and how easily other boys could be offended by intellectual superiority so embarked on a campaign of provocation. Repeatedly arriving home with torn clothes, a bloody nose and smashed glasses brought punishment but that only served to intensify my sense of martyrdom.
At 16 I ran away from home but was caught by the police only 4 miles from home. I was subjected to the most extreme punishment of my life, the chosen instrument being my own belt which I was forced to hand over. After the punishment I was threatened with the harshest boarding school my parents could find so I chose to submit to their will until I was 18.