We were victims of childhood abuse in our differing ways and here we'll share something of what happened to us.

Your comments and contributions are very welcome - and if you're a Survivor of childhood abuse then please, share your story with us.

And if you can, then please help us to all help each other by adding to our Links List of resources for Survivors of Abuse.

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Showing posts with label school bullying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label school bullying. Show all posts

Thursday, December 09, 2010

A British boy of 12 has killed himself.

Bradley Wiseman
A schoolboy hanged himself after playground bullies terrorised him for the way he talked, it is claimed.

Bradley Wiseman, 12, who it is claimed was being targeted because of his well-spoken voice, was found at his home on Monday.

Hundreds of friends have now blasted bullies on an online memorial page who are said to have tormented Bradley at his school in Edlington, South Yorkshire.

Shelly-Louise Hindley wrote on Facebook: 'Hope their guilt follows them always and they realise the severity of what they have caused. . . Rip bradly lovee.'

Anthony Rushton added: 'You don't deserve this, no one does. Its an awful shock to everyone, we have all been hurt by this.'

Since the tragedy earlier this week, neighbours have rallied round to help the boy's 37-year-old mother.

One neighbour said: 'We're all here for her. He was a lovely lad, so polite. It is completely out of character, he never would have done it if he wasn't being bullied at school.

'They bullied him because he talked politely, he was very well spoken, you wouldn't have known he came from round here.

'He was a lovely kid and it is so sad what has happened. We are all devastated.'

Rugby -mad Bradley attended Sir Thomas Wharton Community College and played on the wing for Doncaster Rugby Union Football Club's Under-12s.

His coach John Wills said: 'He was a lot of fun. There was no evidence of him being bullied at rugby practice or during games.

'He loved rugby and would come along with his mum and brother and sister.

'Bradley was really popular with all the other boys.'

Mary McCorry, headteacher at Sir Thomas Wharton Community College, said: 'Bradley had settled into school well and there have been no reports of bullying or any problems that we are aware of.

'On behalf of everyone at Sir Thomas Wharton, we are deeply saddened to hear of the sudden death of one of our pupils.

'Bradley was a bright and popular boy and will be very much missed at school. Our thoughts, prayers and condolences are with his family at this difficult time.'

An investigation by South Yorkshire Police has been started following the grim discovery at 4.30pm on Monday.

A spokesman said officers were not treating the death as suspicious.



From the Daily Mail, with thanks.


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Monday, November 29, 2010

School sports


From the film KES

With funding changes to school sports planned, a shift to a more competitive ethos is mooted, but there is likely to be a bitter battle for the heart of PE.
For many people PE encapsulates their unhappiest memories of school. They look back to blasted, windswept sports fields where shouting PE teachers in ill-fitting tracksuits marshalled unwilling pupils.
The classic fictional depiction is the 1969 film Kes, where Brian Glover's Mr Sugden takes part in a football match as both player and referee, awards himself a penalty and then remonstrates with Billy Casper by knocking him into the mud with a wet football.
It has that classic breeding ground for school social stigma - the picking of teams. An opportunity to further make life miserable for the group memorably referred to as the "wets, weirdos and fatties" in the sitcom, Red Dwarf.
The popular perception is that something started to change in the culture of sports and physical education in schools in the 1970s. Activities that didn't alienate the unsporty started to chip away at the dominance of competitive team sport.
But now there is to be a shift back towards competitive sport. The government is ending the ring-fencing of £162m of funding for School Sport Partnerships, which promoted co-operation in sport and PE provision between schools, as well as inter-school competitions.
Opponents say this will lead to money being used to plug gaps elsewhere in school budgets, but the government is instead focusing on its plans for Olympics-style competitions for schools.
But what everybody does agree on is the importance of PE. Adults may look back ruefully to being made to exercise in their underpants or do punishment laps of a field, but few would dispute the long-term benefits.
"Getting the regular habit of exercise ingrained controls weight later on in life," says Dr Andy Franklyn-Miller, a consultant in sports medicine.
This week his representative body, the British Association of Sport and Exercise Medicine, is to call for a health-focused segment to be incorporated into PE lessons.
Forged sick notes
But it's not just about obesity, Dr Franklyn-Miller says. Getting used to exercise helps avoid injuries later in life. Even basic routines like improving balance can be vital to developing children.
Educational consultant Sue Palmer, author of Toxic Childhood, has seen children arriving in primary school with difficulties with basic movement.
Comedian John O'Farrell has unpleasant memories from life at his all-boys school.
The dreaded Cross-Country run

"They have really poor physical skills and physical strength. They are coming through 'floppy' because of [early years spent] staring at screens."  It puts even more of an onus on PE teachers. And they have to make their subject fun. While you might be able to force children to learn something from academic lessons, a string of early Kes-style experiences might make some shun sport in adult life.
"My school didn't do football, so I was forced to do rugby. I was small and skinny... was thrown the wet, muddy ball and everyone tried to jump on my head."
Passing the ball immediately, even to the opposition, was O'Farrell's solution. He then tried basketball, but as a late-developer did not like playing in the "skins" team, without shirts.
"I tried to shoot for the hoop without revealing my bald, pre-pubescent armpits. The teacher would say 'shoot, O'Farrell, shoot… no, not underarm'."
O'Farrell started forging sick-notes from his mother and soon developed a cottage industry performing the same service for other boys.
Former headteacher Roger Hurn, author of 101 Dance Ideas, goes into schools to encourage the use of dance. He says children can be put off sport by bad experiences, as he was by a strict, rugby-mad PE teacher.
Danger
"I never played rugby again, the experience under that teacher was so horrible. I won't even watch it. It has a negative effect."
Modern PE is aimed at avoiding the above scenarios. A plethora of options have sprung up in recent years.
A recent government study found 37% of schools offered cheerleading. At a fifth of schools a child can learn yoga. Individual sports like boxing are on the rise, but traditional team games like rugby, hockey and netball are in decline.
Peripatetic practitioner William Allen, author of Games, Ideas and Activities for Primary PE, will try anything to get children's enthusiasm flaring. Street dance, tri-golf and American football are among the activities he uses.
"PE is now a gateway to doing things outside school," says Mr Allen.
But an older generation of PE teachers also remember great things being done in schools. Now retired, Ray Twentyman taught PE for more than four decades before retiring last year and focusing on coaching young athletes.
Starting out in the 60s at a school in Liverpool, he recalls excellent provision of football, rugby, cross country, tennis, athletics, and volleyball, among others.
"It was unusually good, but there were lots of other good schools," he says.
Cautious mindset
But by the 1980s PE teaching was becoming more prescribed, with the National Curriculum meaning many boxes had to be ticked.
"You did six-week blocks of a sport. I defy anybody to learn a game properly in six weeks," says Mr Twentyman.
Teachers also have a more cautious mindset.
"I liked kids to get stuck in. I think today, if it's raining or windy, they won't go out and play," he says.
His colleague Chris Sproat, now also retired, was disappointed at the limits the evolving health and safety culture imposed. Instead of just taking a group of children for a run outside school premises, forms had to be diligently filled.
Both teachers and children might want things to be a little freer.
"There are kids who like structured sport, but for the ones who don't we need to be more creative about encouraging them to be physically active," says Tim Gill, author of No Fear: Growing Up in a Risk Averse Society.
"That might mean introducing more fun, more choice and maybe a little bit of danger."
But whatever happens, the place of the brutal Mr Sugdens is hopefully gone. With funding cuts to school sports planned, a shift to a more competitive ethos is mooted, but there is likely to be a bitter battle for the heart of PE.
Below is a selection of your memories - good and bad - of PE
"I hated PE and our bullying, abusive secondary school PE teachers succeeded in convincing me that I was a fat, talentless no-hoper who just wasn't cut out for any sort of physical activity. (In reality, I wasn't, but as almost the smallest child in the class I certainly wasn't going to make a great impression at any of the school team sports). It was exactly the opposite of what a physical education should aim to achieve, and it's taken me twenty years to fully appreciate the importance of regular exercise and gain enough fitness to pursue it. Competitive sports can offer kids opportunity and a life-long healthy activity and I'm all for that, but the likes of aerobics, dance and martial arts can also achieve essential fitness gains and are more accessible after leaving school than, for example, netball. If we focused on the desired outcome - a generation of fit, healthy kids - then it would be easy to devise a menu of options to suit all tastes and talents. Of course, the inevitable cuts in funding won't help."

From the BBC 

Of course if you've read my Story (above) then you'll know why I've posted this story which started about the current round of spending cuts but finished up reminding me of just how oppressive and abusive school PE used to so often be.  I hope it's changed - but you can see from this that the wounds are still very raw.

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Sunday, November 28, 2010

Red Balloon (UK) is for kids who are bullied.


The aim of Red Balloons is the recovery of bullied children.
We provide an 'intensive care' full-time education for children aged between 9 and 18 who are unable to go to school because they have been severely bullied. At least half of the students we take have attempted or seriously considered suicide.
We promise the students whom we accept a safe environment with clear boundaries for behaviour, and an individual full-time academic, pastoral and therapeutic programme.
Once the students have regained their confidence and are able to cope academically and socially, we support them in their return to mainstream school, their entry to further education or to employment.

Their website has details of the Centres they run and those they are planning, together with more details and opportunities to donate towards their work.


If you can watch the programme about Bullying linked in our sidebar (it's on BBC iPlayer and so may not be available in some countries) - but that is about the work of the Red Ballon Centre in London and features several 12 to 14 year old who have been victims of bullying and who are trying to overcome their traumas.
More information from Red Balloon Learner Centres


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Saturday, November 27, 2010

Bill targets homophobic and trans. bullying in UK schools


St. George's School
Hertfordshire

Education secretary Michael Gove has said that the government will work with gay and anti-bullying charities to tackle homophobia in schools.
A white paper on education released yesterday said that homophobic bullying was on the rise and schools must take it seriously.
It said two-thirds of lesbian, gay and bisexual pupils are bullied because of their sexuality, while straight students are often subjected to anti-gay abuse too.
The white paper added: “Schools should take incidents of prejudice-based bullying especially seriously. It is important that they educate children about the differences between different groups of people and create a culture of respect and understanding.”
It cited a Christian school in Hertfordshire, St George’s Church of England school, which claims to have seen “near elimination of overt homophobia” through staff training on how to tackle the issue.
The document says that the government will “reduce unnecessary prescription and bureaucracy” and ensure that headteachers “feel empowered to do what they think is right”.
Mr Gove said yesterday that “political leaders and all of society” must tackle the “growing prejudice” of anti-gay harassment in schools.
Responding to a question from out gay Tory MP Iain Stewart, he said: “Homophobic bullying is on the rise in our schools, and homophobic terms are increasingly used towards gay students and straight students in a way that seeks to undermine the tolerance that we have built up over the past 15 years.
“We therefore need to work with organisations such as Stonewall and the Anti-Bullying Alliance, and to shine the light on schools such as St George’s Church of England school, which has done a fantastic job in tackling homophobic bullying.
“This requires work not only by school leaders but by political leaders and all of society to tackle a growing prejudice that is scarring our tolerant society.”
A Stonewall spokesman told PinkNews.co.uk: “We’re delighted that, after some years of discussion, both the nature of different families and homophobic bullying feature in the white paper.
“This is a hugely important step forward. We’ll continue to work with ministers, Ofsted and others until all schools are tackling the prejudice-based bullying which still blights the lives of too many young people.”
from Pink News, with thanks.